*Waves*

Fianlly I get a chance or have the time to blog again. I dont care if anyone see any of my post anymore. This is just for my memory.. lol.. For this few weeks, alot of things have happen and change. Its really hard to just say it within a few mins. I might already forgotten most of them, I might just say how I feel.

At least for now I dont really think life suck that much now. But its still not easy to live on. Lol. Soon I going to be out of job again. Sigh. Always get headache when talk about this. I wil just see how things goes. I hard to plan as to me my plan always fails or not to what I expected. So y plan when it will fail. Lol.

Every thing moves and change so quickly. I could hardly catch my breath. Sometimes I really hate changes. Why must things change? Things aint gonna stay the same. I wish I will always be a baby, being innocent and know nothing about this world. I must admit sometimes I still have the kind of thinking that I doesn't want to live on this earth, wishing to end it. Its impossible and I definately know its silly to think about it. Living everyday is like living on fear everyday, cause you will never know what things gonna happen. I don't like surprise, but still I have to have to face it.

Some news that I have know recently really surprise me. So surprising that I nearly couldn't take it. But I know its part of life and I accept it. I'm weak, weak in everything. I'm too dependent on people and at the same time I'm afraid to get too close to them. I don't like the feeling of losing it. It's very heartaching. I guess even I have mental prepare for it, I might still break down.

In order reduce stress, I play games. It just give me a feeling of living in a virtual world where things just look so simple. Have fun, enjoy and no worries. Isn't it nice? This world is so cruel, it make people to live on. I dont wish to carry on. Its useless to think that much as world won't change, its us who change the world. I just wish to stay like this. Nothing is gonna change about me. Ciao! Peace out!